“It all goes away. Eventually, everything goes away.”

Writing101 Day 4

Whenever I think about loss, I can’t think of any particular “thing”. Maybe the reason is that I’m a big hoarder of memories. I have this huge box up in the attic where I keep all my treasured memorabilia. All the diaries I’ve ever written, all the thoughtful gifts and cards I’ve received from my family and friends, some pictures, leaves and flowers, movie tickets, pieces of thread (I’m not getting into the detail of who those threads belong to), and everything else that has meant something special to me. So if I have to talk about loss (ugh, do I have to?) I’m going to share a story about a person who meant a LOT to me who is not in my life anymore. Buckle up people, you’re about to be depressed.

We all have met certain people in life who radiate this infectious energy wherever they go. When you see them smile it feels like everything’s fine with the world. When you’re with them time just flies by and it feels like they’re a part of your family! I met that someone when I was 9 years old. I had just switched schools and she was the first person in this new school who extended her hand in friendship to me.

I was the shy nerd, so whenever she met me she wanted me to feel at home. She always offered me a seat beside her in class, introduced me to her friends, always dragged me with her during lunch break just so I won’t feel lonely. And she wasn’t like this just with me. She was like one of those “life of the party” kind of people. She would always have this shining bright smile on her face all the damn time. When I got to know her more, she became more like a sister that I never had. I used to visit her place with my family quite frequently and whenever we planned a “friends hangout” the venue was always her home. And she had the sweetest family ❤ Her mom and dad loved us like their own daughters. Her big sister also studied in the same school so we also became “best buds” with her and her friends too. Oh it felt so cool to hang out with the seniors 😀 All of us together, laughing, partying, singing, dancing; those were some of the best years of my life 🙂

But suddenly she started to change. Although she never stopped smiling and being her fun-self, but she grew a little quieter. Then we found out that she was diagnosed with Hepatitis B. I knew it was a nasty disease but I didn’t know if it was something to be worried about, because I had always heard people saying that Hep A and B are quite common and people recover from them all the time, and Hep C was the one that’s the most serious and life-threatening. So we got on with our lives and had the same fun with her. I still visited her home and talked about studies, movies, friendship, life and our dreams. Man, she never stopped smiling.

And then one day I entered the class and everyone was crying… She was no more with us… That was a … life altering day for us all. I can still vividly recall each and every moment of that horrifying day… I remember my shock.. I remember my locking myself in the girls bathroom and crying until the teacher had to come get me… I remember all of us getting on the bus to go to her funeral in our school uniforms… I remember the wailing, the cries of agony of her parents, siblings and relatives… I remember that white cloak draped over her body… I remember my friends asking me to control myself and not break down in front of her family… And I remember that smile… Dammit that smile didn’t leave her for a second, even after death. She looked very much at peace… Zainab, you became an angel, didn’t you? :’)

Why was that a life altering event? I had seen death before. All my grandparents had died in my childhood, but I lost them at an age where I didn’t quite understand death. I used to think “Only old people are supposed to die.” But when I lost Zainab – a girl of my own age, with big hopes and dreams in her eyes and full of jubilant life – that was the day I realized what a hardcore reality death really is.

Zainab, I spent many days looking at the sky, talking to you. I told you how much I missed you. I told you that school sucks without you. I told you to come back just once, so that your Mom and Dad can hug you because your family wasn’t coping well with you leaving them. I told you how much I loved you, even though I never quite said it much to your face.

I really did love you sister. And I always will.

I hope you’re partying hard with the angels up there :’)


Day 4’s assignment was:

Write about a loss: something (or someone) that was part of your life, and isn’t any more.

This doesn’t need to be a depressing exercise; you can write about that time you lost the three-legged race at a picnic. What’s important is reflecting on this experience and what it meant for you — how it felt, why it happened, and what changed because of it.

Well it sure as hell was a depressing exercise for me Blogging U. I couldn’t come up with any other significant “non-human” loss because I’ve always been a nerd (never failed in exams) and never lost a game (never participated in them).  Anyway, here’s my depressing post.

Because of this course I’ve now shared way more personal stuff than I ever wanted to. Well, 16 more to go. Great.

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33 thoughts on ““It all goes away. Eventually, everything goes away.”

  1. desleyjane April 9, 2015 / 5:56 PM

    Beautiful. Heartfelt. Emotional. What a wonderful thing to have shared even a short amount of time with this girl. And what a tragic loss to have her taken away so soon. My heart goes out to you hun x.

    Liked by 1 person

    • A.B Mood April 9, 2015 / 10:03 PM

      I got to spend three wonderful years with her :’) In terms of meeting people like her, it’s always been downhill for me since then. She was the most selfless and kindest person in the whole wide world. 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  2. abyssbrain April 9, 2015 / 7:20 PM

    That surely was a very depressing story. Losing someone can be a very great life altering moment. Though I’m sure that your friend in the afterlife would wish you to continue living life with a smile.

    For me, if you ask me about losing something, then it would be the lost of the majority of my digital files forever since I rarely backup my files before. I remembered our department leader continuously bitching about the lose of some work related files. When I became so irritated, I told him to just shut up and deal with it 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    • A.B Mood April 9, 2015 / 10:07 PM

      Yeah I told you to buckle up 😦 And she taught me to smile in the worst of times, so I try to carry on her legacy as much as I can 🙂 And lol, thanks for making me laugh 😀 How did he react to being shut up? I hope he didn’t lodge a complaint 😛

      Liked by 1 person

      • abyssbrain April 9, 2015 / 10:12 PM

        He actually complained me to our division manager on the grounds of “negligence”. However, like me, the div. manager basically told him that shit happens so just deal with it haha…

        Liked by 1 person

      • A.B Mood April 9, 2015 / 10:17 PM

        Hahaha oh that must’ve felt so good 😀 Served him right!

        Liked by 1 person

      • abyssbrain April 9, 2015 / 10:20 PM

        Yeah, I have already apologized to them anyway. There’s not much that I could do.

        And our div. manager back then was a very ok guy unlike most of my “friends” at work…

        Liked by 1 person

      • A.B Mood April 10, 2015 / 12:55 AM

        I really feel bad about your working environment 😦 I have this image of a dry humorless place with lots of man-bots 😀

        Liked by 1 person

      • abyssbrain April 10, 2015 / 7:09 AM

        It’s lucky that I have my own offuce nowadays, so I don’t have to interact with them that much 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

  3. More Than A Dash Of Salt April 9, 2015 / 7:31 PM

    That was such a beautiful and touching piece. As you were describing her an image arose in my mind and I could see this playful and vibrant girl and I begun to like her and then I remembered that I knew how this story ended :(. I’m sorry for your loss but i’m not sorry that you got to experience such an amazing person in your life.

    Liked by 1 person

    • A.B Mood April 9, 2015 / 10:10 PM

      :’) Thank you so much for your thoughtful response. ❤ I've never met anyone quite like her since then. But I'm glad for every second of those three years I got to spend with her. I consider myself lucky for knowing a beautiful person like her ❤ Thank you so much again for reading my feeble attempt at expressing my love for her.

      Like

  4. TK April 9, 2015 / 8:25 PM

    I’m so sorry for your loss AB, your description of her makes her sound like someone anyone would like to be friends with. I also loved how you wrote about the realization of death and the harsh reality. Thank you for yet another great post and for not holding back on the personal elements

    Liked by 1 person

    • A.B Mood April 9, 2015 / 10:14 PM

      I really didn’t want to go in much personal detail as she was someone very special to me and I didn’t want to do injustice with her loving memory, but I tried to express as much as I could in the most respectful way I could muster .. Thank you so much for reading and appreciating this piece :’) It means so much to me ❤

      Like

  5. Uday April 9, 2015 / 11:43 PM

    My heart goes out to you, AB (is that what people call you around here?). She seems to be a wonderful person to be around and I understand how devastating it must have been to simply not have her in your life anymore. Jut goes to show the harsh unpredictability of life. But good to hear that you’re continuing her legacy. The world needs more people like her. I’m pretty much sure she’s partying hard with the angels up there 🙂

    Under all this, I can’t help but appreciate what a great writer you are! This piece was crisp, heartfelt and took me on quite an emotional ride. So thanks for that! It was depressing but also somehow uplifting.

    Liked by 1 person

    • A.B Mood April 10, 2015 / 1:10 AM

      Depressing and uplifting at the same time! That’s the best compliment I’ve got today 😀 Seriously thank you so much for liking it. ❤ It means a lot to me that my WordPress family also comes to know and care about my beautiful sister Zainab :') You're a sweetheart Uday, thank you so much :')

      Liked by 1 person

      • Uday April 10, 2015 / 1:30 AM

        The pleasure is mine, dear!

        Like

  6. Enables April 10, 2015 / 2:03 AM

    So sorry for your loss. This was a beautiful portrait of a wonderful friendship, thank you for sharing!

    Liked by 1 person

    • A.B Mood April 10, 2015 / 3:11 PM

      Your kind words mean a lot to me, dear.. :’) Thank you! ❤

      Liked by 1 person

  7. sarahlouchip April 10, 2015 / 3:36 PM

    Your friend sounded like a truly beautiful girl, one in a million. I’m sorry to hear what happened, life can seem so unfair at times.

    Liked by 1 person

    • A.B Mood April 10, 2015 / 4:20 PM

      Life seems unfair most times. *sigh*. Well I hope she’s happy wherever she is :’)
      And thank you so much for the kind response. It really means so much to me ❤

      Like

  8. Ish April 10, 2015 / 7:38 PM

    Losing a friend is really really hard.. the memory stays with you forever

    Liked by 1 person

  9. amna2393 March 21, 2016 / 9:10 PM

    Fatima and I were really glued to the laptop’s screen. We couldn’t take our eyes off for a single moment Abeeha. It was so emotional, the way you described it, I think I would have started crying myself had it been a tad bit longer.Oh, you wrote so beautifully, so beautifully.

    Liked by 1 person

    • A.B Mood March 26, 2016 / 9:25 PM

      Aaww thank you :’) I really didn’t wanna write about all of this, but well the assignment demanded it 😦 But still it felt good to take it off my chest after so many years. Thanks for appreciating it love ❤

      Like

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